i have a lot of back posting to catch up on, but somehow between the boiling heat of last week, and the heavy chill of today's clouds I've become lazy.
at least tonight. this second.
so i'll just jibber-jabber.
to be truthful i'm backed up in posting about life because i've been so busy running and living through it. i'm currently taking 3 writing classes, and will be most likely adding another within the next week. in addition to that, i'm volunteering on my off days...and homeschooling the kids has been ratched up.
but mostly, this second i want to share that i've fallen in love with toni morrison. real love. i find her writing to be so...challenging, in a good way. so deep and full of things i need to know and read. i really just can't explain it so well now.
but maybe it isn't just mrs. morrison, its reading and books again. like all the love i collected of reading and the written word has collected and spilled off my mind like an angry rain storm falling off a slanted tin roof. gushing it is this love. and loud with tink, tink, tinkering words and phrases.
i am sure it has to do with writing. of course it does. my writing. all the writing up of my soul i'm trying to do week in and week out.
wanting to be a better person has led to wanting to be a better writer, which has made me want to read better books. i literally have a stack of about 30 books around me, and i think i should admit i'm trying to read them all. at once. right now. and write. and study the craft.
i wish i could share with you all that i'm writing. i wish i could just sit here and talk on and on about the plot, the characters, the settings and descriptions...but i can't, and i think that's why i'm silent sometimes here. everywhere really.
i've found that i need to be more quiet. i have a whole 'nother world taking place in my mind and well its quite hard to not talk about it. sometimes i'm so deep into thinking about my characters, their lives, what's happening to them that i feel like a time-traveler...jumping back and forth from "reality."
i could be schooling the kids and i'll think about something someone needs to say or do. i can be showering or washing my hair and a description will fall out of my mouth and i have to scurry around the tub to catch it before it goes down the drain. i could be washing dishes or baking cornbread and i will see them sitting around having thanksgiving dinner, or maybe its christmas. i wake up and they are first on my mind. before i go to sleep i ask them to visit me in my dreams. last night it worked and i woke with an idea...about division..math division and how it could work in a scene.
i'm truly living with these characters, they plead with me to tell their stories and understand them...and i have accepted and obliged them...promising them that i will honor their voices, their stories.
i hope i am worthy. i do.
when i write i feel like the little girl i used to be, with the vocabulary to express everything I ever saw and dreamed of the world...and how it all felt inside...that i couldn't say out to the world. how pieces cut and others adorned. how somethings scratched me raw and others made the world smell sweet like orange blossoms. i was such a daydreamer, a hoper, a believer and a feeler.
i guess i'm just trying to set that little girl free...break the rubber bands on her ponytails, unsnap the barrettes and tell her, "go ahead swing those twists from side to side" and let it all fly out.
well...i hate to post without pictures...so i won't go on and on, even though i already have.
peace and love,
ki
so question?
do u read toni morrison? what is your favorite, where do i go from the bluest eye? i've got jazz next to me, and sula on the way, love on my night stand, beloved on my bookshelf (next to tar baby) and paradise on my kindle. its all so much...the desire to read, understand and digest her works all at once. where do i start?
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