home is a certain kind of personal word..different from house. it conjures up pride and coziness...possession and comfort to me.
soon enough it'll be 5 years since this house became ours. i cannot begin to tell you how much i loved this house when we found it. the street..the vines...the windows...the constant streaming of natural light...the space...the clean white walls...i loved it all.
as we've been here and the kids have grown up here (they were 1.5 yrs and 2 months when we moved here) i've honestly fallen in and out of love.
there's times when i'm ever frustrated by the dingy white carpet, and the old metal/white mini blinds. i struggle with our tile counter tops which the previous owners had glazed (sigh)...along with the tubs and sinks...etc.
but i'm in love with so much too...
i can't really explain it...take a look...
a very partial part of our book collection...and some art...and things...
this is on your right side as you enter...there are 2 ikea bookshelves that anchor a thrifted bookshelf. i collect national geographic magazines...they are up top, there are some african artifacts...like a fertility god (upper right) that i need to pass on to someone...and a hand-carved couple...that sign that says no reads: no negroes, no dogs, no mexicans. i love it...if you know me you know i'm petrified of dogs...and well the negroes and mexicans...well thats us. its a copy of an old sign from the jim crow era in texas...
maybe a better shot...
up to the right of this area is a wonderful circular window..thats wonderful to look out of when your on the staircase...this is right over the front door...
see here, our front door...that's the aztec calendar hanging on the door..my mother in law brought it from mexico the last time she was there...the ceiling goes the total height of our home...two stories..its beautiful to just lay in the living room at night and stare at the sky...
when the kids were young...and we still had a "family bed" me and e would camp out in the living room on our sleeper sofa...and look out the window at the sky and talk...
our staircase...
as you continue on along the bookcase wall...is our staircase...and you eventually land in the schoolroom/kitchen...or in the formal dining area...which is to the left of the staircase...
right at the entrance to the kids schoolroom is their kitchen...which they still "cook" in...our school calendar...and their easels...at the base of the stairs is yali's keyboard...on a thrifted piano bench...don't ask me why that blue easter basket is hanging...the kids' like to "jimmy-rig" things from the stairs...they "send" things down to eachother...or something like that.
the stair case has family pictures on the second landing...some quilt art from my solo on the first landing...and all the way at the top...another quilt piece from my first solo show...eventually i'll install the words i had on the wall too...but with these two story walls...that'll take a lot of work and maneuvering...i'm not sure it can be done...
the first door is our room...the one next to it is my studio...at the other end of the hallway is the kids' bedrooms (side by side) and their bathroom.
our "formal" dinning area...view from the staircase...
notice all the stacks of mail and other "stuff" on our dinning table? the halloween balloon (the kids grandparents always bring them balloons...from the time yali was a newborn...)? the armoire on the right side is a vintage piece...notice the quilts rolled up and put on the chair in the left-hand corner?
there is a second window on top of the bottom window...i kinda got it in this blurry shot...it allows more light...and takes up some of the wall space...the walls go 2 stories...and the ceiling slants and meets in a v at top....
the vase is handmade in mexico, its heavy and big...the flowers are also handmade in mexico out of cornhusk...we've had them for at least 8 years...
and this is the mess that the kids make daily...
the boxes in the back corner are all our k12 kindergarten materials that got sent for michael (which have to go back...more boxes are coming today)...that corner is usually the collection spot for their balls, golf stuff, balloons...p.e. type stuff...
the t.v. armoire and coffee table were all hand-made in mexico and shipped across the border...the table actually has a big metal pot in the center which is traditionally used to fry stuff...or ice down cold beers, etc. my kids find it better to collect their "junque." underneath it is cd's i've yet to find a purpose for...
the furniture? well that's the ikea futon we bought for our first "home" 10 years ago...the blanket covering up the worn out cover is from mexico too...its hand-woven...wool and soooo comfy...i hijacked it from my in-laws years ago...
and unfortunately...i still have the mini-blinds on the windows...they're falling apart...yet their still there...eventuallly...i'll get to replacing them.
living (and creating) with kids...
living with kids can be quite an experience...they come with so many "things" and little stuff...and they find it easy to live amongst toys scattered every where...
i constantly have them pick up their stuff...only to find it thrown all over hours later. sometimes i just ignore it...sometimes i fuss...most times i begrungedly pick it up...(when i have time)
i made the decision when they were smaller to not buy "good" furniture when we moved here...our ikea stuff still had legs...and i figured why invest when they'll "live" in it and on it...
i didn't want them to not be able to "be" and play...and discover in their home...
i didn't want any part of their home to be "off-limits" to them...now things have changed a bit...or should i say evolved...our room is now "off-limits" to them...it is our "couple" space...a place for us..no toys...no more family bed...except for the occasional family movie night cuddle...
my studio is also "off-limits" now...they can come in and hang a bit with me..but none of their stuff can take up permanent residence...i needed a physical and mental place to break from role as mommy/wife and be artist...
i'm mostly happy with this decision...because as i look at the fingerprints on the sofa of jelly...and see the first scribbles on the futon wood...i think to myself this could of been on a nice piece of furniture...when i see them make beautiful castles...like the one in the above picture i think...they're exploring...when i'm able to go into any one of "our" spaces...close the door and be something other than mommy for a minute...i re-new myself.
i find that being an artist and mommy/wife takes some guts and will...guts to say...i'm not cleaning up toys today...or "honey, you can make dinner tonight...even if it is cereal...." or today "i'm not going to worry about the dishes." sometimes it takes will-power to be selfish and take care of me...to let the kids explore on their own...be independent while i work...or let them play in the dirt as e cuts the grass so i can work...
living and creating with kids happens when i step back...and take time for myself...i don't have the best house on the block..nor the cleanest...but most times...or better yet sometimes...i have "time" for myself...
as for our home....someday it'll be more grown-up...but for now...i'm fine with what it is today...the toys...the crayons...the dolls...the legos and blocks...the homeschooling boxes...all of it. including the little pockets of space me and e have carved out for ourselves...
one day...they'll be grown...one day they'll be in college...one day i'll miss their presence...and beg them to come visit...
until then....
peace, ki

an old picture of our living room...before we started housing the t.v. in the living room...before homeschooling...i found in the archives...
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